first things first, i need to say thanks to john because i dont think without the relationship that we had, i would have never fallen on my ass and would have never realized what was right in front of my face for 2 years straight. THANK YOU JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for 2 years straight, Ian Brown has always been there for me, no matter if it was the crappiest day ever or if i was pissed off at everyone, he was the only person who would get me to talk and spill out my guts. for 2 years straight, i had a crush on him but i never knew he had one on me until some things happened (which shall stay buried like we agreed) and i almost lost him. after i finally got a FB, i added him immediatly and once again, our friendship exploded. he was the only person who was truly there for me when john and i were having our issues the first go around and telling me things to do that i should have done but didn't, and he was the only one truly there for me when john ended it. day after day, 730 + days, he was there for me. and i was there for him, always helping and getting him to spill his guts and there for him to talk to. as the days continued to burry me in the completely stupid thoughts of "what could have been with john", he was there helping me to open my eyes to what really was, there to help build back up my strength, my self esteem, my love for things, he was there for me. and after i got over john about 3 weeks after the break up, i appologized to ian and let him know everything that i had been holding in, the only thing that i had kept a secret from him, because the years before i thought he either didnt like me like that or never would. it turns out he did, and not only did he like me, but he was in love with me as i was in love with him as well.
never have i met someone who has had as much in common with me as he does, and never have i had a friend that i havent had one fight with. ian is my best friend in the whole world. we have no secrets, share everything, etc. it took me 2 weeks to notice him and 2 years to realized i was in love with him ("not love at first sight, but love after 2 weeks"). and we both agree that this is why every relationship that we had crashed and burned or just didnt work out, because it wasnt us with each other. ian makes me feel like i'm actually worth something and has given me the feeling of being loved in 2 years than anyone in my family has given me in my whole life. i dont know what i would have done without him these past 2 years, i really dont. like freshman year, i had not valentine (like all years before) and ian showed up at my house with this little basket thing that had 2 teddybears together. i kept the bears for up to a few weeks ago when my puppy decided to have it as a toy :/ those lil bears were soo important to me, not because it was a v'day gift but because it came from ian. and yesterday 03 july 2011, i remembered he sent me a message on FB that said this:
Amber... I've been thinking about it... a lot... and, well, I know you say you're over that guy... but I know you probably want time to move on... so, when you are ready and comfortable with answering, let me know...
Will you go out with me?
and i said yes yesterday. the best decision i have made in yearsWill you go out with me?
he's my bestie, my juggalo, my love, the keeper of my heart, my everything. we're like han solo and the millenium falcon, inseperable
there's one thing that he told me that will always ring in my head
"i know you've fallen for me, and i dont see why, but dont worry, i'll catch you"
this juggalette is in love <3 has been and will be for a while, like foreverz
RAWR IAN ALEXANDER BROWN <3 lol
MMFCL4L
