i really fucking hate my life right now. why? because of the fucking army and having to move all the damn time
the only thing that i've ever wanted was to stay in one place, meet a guy and stay with him
well i meet the most amazing guy in the world, the only one that sees me for me, the only one that actually makes me laugh, the only one who truely loves me, the only one who has been honest with me, the only one i've ever loved...
and what do i get in return, on the most amazing night of my life, i get told that i have to fucking move! i don't want to move, i don't want to lose john
i want to spend the rest of my god damn life with him, have his kids (a girl named Hayley Lucielle and a boy named Hayden Marcelo), his last name, the stupid lil arguments over nothing with HIM. not anyone else but John Philip Marcelo Roxas.
I know that he hates long distant relationships because of all the crap he's been through and i know that it'll be hard, but why the hell not try? we've already been through some deep shit as it is and i know i don't want to lose him. and he says he doesn't want to lose me, so why the fuck not?
i can't stop crying right now because the thought of being without him is killing me.
the first time we started talking, i was like there is no way this guy could like me. and as we continued to talk, i was like am i dreaming? because this isn't real... but it is real! the fucking fairy tale is real and i don't want it to end with the bad guys ending, i want it to end with "til' death do us part"
and i don't care what happens to me along the way, but as long as i get to stay with him, i'll be happy.
I love you John. always
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